Our top story, in 'Threat Matrix Reloaded' news ... Attorney General John Ashcroft and FBI Director Robert Muller held a press conference today to announce that Al Qaeda is planning attacks somewhere inside the United States at sometime in the future. So go about your normal lives, but with a vague sense of foreboding.

As fighting in Iraq intensifies, President Bush delivered his supplemental war budget to Congress. The money will cover 30 days of fighting, then we'll be sent one war every other month until we cancel our subscription.

Larry Flynt, running for governor of California. His goal - change our state bird to the spread eagle.

Howard Dean is narrowing the field of potential running mates. It's down to Mike Tyson or Bobby Knight.

Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress.

Lot of people wondering if John Kerry supports gay marriages. Here's a hint ... he gets $1,000 haircuts.

Over ten thousand people have signed a petition to recall Governor Schwarzenegger. I'm sorry, that is next year's joke.