The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

There are 300,000 new jobs and Bush said he's confused, 'Can I take credit for good news that I didn't even make up?'

Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry.

Singer Boy Dylan was stopped at his own sow by security guards who failed to recognize the singer. Asked to comment, Dylan replied, 'I can hardly blame them. Look at me.'

Ironically, the possibility that the president dodged his military service has increased his approval ratings with Democrats by 80 percent.

John Kerry will be the Democratic nominee for president. Democrats finally found someone who is Al Gore without the flash and the sizzle.

Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.