The prison scandal is really hurting President Bush's poll numbers. In fact, I hear he's already working on his concession smirk.

I don't want to scare anybody here but we just received word from police that Howard Dean is loose and may be armed with a microphone.

I think mankind is overly sensitive, very needy, greedy, and flawed.

Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a 1 trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey, look over there, it's Saddam Hussein.'

My brother asked me once, 'Are you a misanthrope?' And I said, 'No, I just find people irritating.'

Maria Shriver is credited with helping Arnold win by standing by him despite allegations of groping. She had to stand by him cause Arnold had a vice grip on her left ass cheek.

Lot of people wondering if John Kerry supports gay marriages. Here's a hint ... he gets $1,000 haircuts.