Or as hockey player Sergei Fedorov knows it, 'The day I can legally start telling everyone I am sleeping with Anna Kournikova.'

In a new poll 54 percent believed President Bush exaggerated the size of Iraq's missile threat. Hey, he's a guy.

John Kerry announced his plan for how to handle those poor naked prisoners. His wife is going to buy them all a $1,000 Armani suit.

Apparently, six women claim that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped them while working on his movies. Hats off to these women who admit they worked on Arnold's movies.

It's not a big part, ... I wheel in an ultrasound machine and say to Taylor's gynecologist, 'If you have a problem with it, just give it a light tap on the side.' Then they hand me a urine sample, and I put it up to the light and say 'Hmm, looks pretty healthy, but I'll check.'

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness... from all the free drinks.

President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.'