Lots of you know me as a lone, hard-bitten columnist, prone to lurking on deserted rocky promontories while searching for my muse.

Not one woman over seventeen has any faith in her skin tone, and no woman over thirty can ever regard her upper arms with equanimity.

Dogs and humans are symbiotic species. We need each other.

Enough about you let's hear about me.

There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.

A person who uses party as a verb is a person who will walk into a shop and walk out wearing a rubber jumpsuit.

Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.