If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

Beware of men on airplanes. The minute a man reaches thirty thousand feet, he immediately becomes consumed by distasteful sexual fantasies which involve doing uncomfortable things in those tiny toilets. These men should not be encouraged, their fantasies are sadly low-rent and unimaginative. Affect an aloof, cool demeanor as soon as any man tries to draw you out. Unless, of course, he's the pilot.

Women wearing men's clothes are chic, men wearing women's clothes make us fall on the floor laughing.

Enough about you let's hear about me.

[On peanut M&Ms:] It is the eggness of them. A shell, chocolate placenta, proteiny peanut baby. Life shape, birth shape, cell shape, protoplasmic-ooze shape. A shape that calls straight through civilization to our reptilian brains.

Swingers are all from the suburbs and consequently brain-addled by car pools, shopping malls, and welcome wagons.

Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.