There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.

Dogs are us, only innocent.

[On her dogs:] I have four now. My friends tell me if I get any more they'll have to hold an intervention.

There is one thing that humans strive for with every cell, every gene, every nerve fiber of our beings. ... More than Mallomars, more than hot sex, we want to belong.

A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk.

Enough about you let's hear about me.

You know what we can be like: see a guy and think he's cute one minute, the next minute our brains have us married with kids, the following minute we see him having an extramarital affair. By the time someone says, 'I'd like you to meet Cecil,' we shout, 'You're late again with the child support!'