Black folks never bungie jump. That's too much like lynching for us. I'm gonna let you tie a rope around me and push me off a bridge? You must be out your damn mind.

I'm not gonna lie, I love the holidays. But Christmas was a lot more fun when you weren't paying for it.

Everybody wants to be great at something.

I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.

There is always one person in the office that you want to whip their ass! If you don't know who it is, it is probably you.

I used to always run off at the mouth and talk about people. I just didn't know that it would make a living for me.

Did you ever have the police follow you for so long, that you get suspicious about your own goddamn self? Maybe I did kill them people.