Failure is always present as an actor. I make my living by taking chances. If I'm not risking something, then I'm not doing my job, so I'm constantly failing. In fact, I'm trying to fail bigger. I try to focus on the positive, the moment, and try to realize where I'm at in an attempt to understand the failure.

If I have all the tears that are shed on Broadway by guys in love, I will have enough salt water to start an opposition ocean to the Atlantic and Pacific, with enough left over to run the Great Salt Lake out of business. But I wish to say I never shed any of these tears personally, because I am never in love, and furthermore, barring a bad break, I never expect to be in love, for the way I look at it love is strictly the old phedinkus, and I tell the little guy as much.

In my opinion turkey is the most over-rated critter for eating purposes in kingdom come but the most striking example we have of the power of propaganda.

She has a laugh so hearty it knocks the whipped cream off an order of strawberry shortcake on a table fifty feet away.

A free-loader is a confirmed guest. He is the man who is always willing to come to dinner.

I've failed so many times in my life that my recovery time has improved. I'm better at redirecting my attention. I've trained in Radical Aliveness and Core Energetics over the past couple of years and that has allowed me to see how much we project our failures onto others. It has taught me to accept myself. There is real power in owning your truth.

He [Will Rogers] was America's most complete human document. One-third humor. One-third humanitarian. One-third heart.