Always try to rub up against money, for if you rub up against money long enough, some of it may rub off on you.

Life is tough, and it's really tough when you're stupid.

I once knew a chap who had a system of just hanging the baby on the clothes line to dry and he was greatly admired by his fellow citizens for having discovered a wonderful innovation on changing a diaper.

In my opinion turkey is the most over-rated critter for eating purposes in kingdom come but the most striking example we have of the power of propaganda.

Failure is always present as an actor. I make my living by taking chances. If I'm not risking something, then I'm not doing my job, so I'm constantly failing. In fact, I'm trying to fail bigger. I try to focus on the positive, the moment, and try to realize where I'm at in an attempt to understand the failure.

He [Will Rogers] was America's most complete human document. One-third humor. One-third humanitarian. One-third heart.

I came to the conclusion long ago that all life is six to five against.