If I have all the tears that are shed on Broadway by guys in love, I will have enough salt water to start an opposition ocean to the Atlantic and Pacific, with enough left over to run the Great Salt Lake out of business. But I wish to say I never shed any of these tears personally, because I am never in love, and furthermore, barring a bad break, I never expect to be in love, for the way I look at it love is strictly the old phedinkus, and I tell the little guy as much.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.

A free-loader is a confirmed guest. He is the man who is always willing to come to dinner.

Always try to rub up against money, for if you rub up against money long enough, some of it may rub off on you.

In my opinion turkey is the most over-rated critter for eating purposes in kingdom come but the most striking example we have of the power of propaganda.

In all the history of the boxing game, you'll find no human interest story to compare with the life narrative of James J. Braddock.

He [Will Rogers] was America's most complete human document. One-third humor. One-third humanitarian. One-third heart.