The reason I'm here today, the reason I own a brand new Harley-Davidson motorcycle and the reason I have a big log cabin and I got cars and all kinds of stuff is because I'm a writer and writers own everything. So you learn how to write.

Can't get around the old minimum wage, Mortimer.

I had a slight touch of Tourette's, which means you talk to yourself and bark and cry out at night.

My whole thing is to entertain, make people laugh and to forget about the real world for awhile.

My first jobs were all civil service. At 14, I worked for the Canadian National Railways. At 16, I worked for the Canadian Penitentiary Service.

I not only believe, I believe that there are many different species of ships, there are many different species of extraterrestrials, and not all of them are up to good.

I live in a high rise with my family part of the year in New York and I don't know three quarters of the people in the building. We live in the same square-footage and I wouldn't know who they were.