If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

English? Who needs to spend time learning that? I'm never going to England!

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right script to come along, I decided to write one myself.

There is no strong beer, just weak men

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what it is as long as I'm acting.

It is better to watch things then to do them.