How I imagined myself being 50 is not how I am feeling now. You think you'll be different, but I still feel like I am about 12 years old - mentally, not physically.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

English? Who needs to spend time learning that? I'm never going to England!

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Although I don't get the parts in films or other television shows that would be befitting of a huge, international star, I don't have to worry about walking around on the street or eating at a restaurant. Occasionally, you do get recognized a little bit. And that's fine. Most people are pretty cool about it. That's the thing - it's such a low-key thing that I can still enjoy it and not worry about it.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right script to come along, I decided to write one myself.