I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?

The Simpsons take up so little time that I'm able to do other things as well.

To many, Homer may appear lazy and a loser, but he's just much misguided. He's boorish, sure, but well meaning and, I guess, the one thing we have in common is the pursuit of lousy diets.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves.

Although I don't get the parts in films or other television shows that would be befitting of a huge, international star, I don't have to worry about walking around on the street or eating at a restaurant. Occasionally, you do get recognized a little bit. And that's fine. Most people are pretty cool about it. That's the thing - it's such a low-key thing that I can still enjoy it and not worry about it.

Operator! Give me the number for 911!

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in college. That's one of the reasons I went down to Second City, because you could do acting and writing.