It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right script to come along, I decided to write one myself.

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized. It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to. In L.A., I'm just another character actor.

English? Who needs to spend time learning that? I'm never going to England!

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

If the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing, and such and such.

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what it is as long as I'm acting.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.