It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting around for the right script to come along, I decided to write one myself.

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge star and to be recognized. It did happen, but not in the way you expect it to. In L.A., I'm just another character actor.

There are times when the writers ask us to improvise. Sometimes the animators are inspired by what you do, and sometimes you are inspired by what the animators do.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution!

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

English? Who needs to spend time learning that? I'm never going to England!

Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except this guy.