What should we call him?" Klaus asked. "You should call him Dr. Montgomery," Mr. Poe replied, "unless he tells you to call him Montgomery. Both his first and last names are Montgomery, so it doesn't make much difference." "His name is Montgomery Montgomery?" Klaus said, smiling. "Yes, and I'm sure he's very sensitive about that, so don't ridicule him," Mr. Poe said, coughing again into his handkerchief.

Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.

It is terribly rude to tell people that their troubles are boring.

It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are ridiculous.

I kind of always think my work is unfilmable, and when I meet people who are interested in filming it, I'm always stunned.

You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That’s why the dark is always close by.