Never trust anyone who has not brought a book with them.

If you have ever had a miserable experience, then you have probably had it said to you that you would feel better in the morning. This, of course, is utter nonsense, because a miserable experience remains a miserable experience even on the loveliest of morning.

It is always terrible to be told to go play with people one doesn't know.

They say love's like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.

I gasped and pointed the way. I gave you an adventure, Ed, right in front of you but you never saw it until I showed you, and that's why we broke up.

Sometimes when someone tells a ridiculous lie, it is best to ignore it entirely.

In this book, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle.