It is much, much worse to receive bad news through the written word than by somebody simply telling you, and Iโm sure you understand why. When somebody simply tells you bad news, you hear it once, and thatโs the end of it. But when bad news is written down, whether in a letter or a newspaper or on your arm in felt tip pen, each time you read it, you feel as if you are receiving the bad news again and again.
Daniel HandlerPeople aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.
Daniel HandlerThere is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.
Daniel HandlerThere are many reasons, of course, why someone might snap their fingers and grin. If you heard some pleasing music, for instance, you might snap your fingers and grin to demonstrate that the music had charms that could soothe your savage breast. If you were employed as a spy, you might snap your fingers and grin in order to deliver a message in secret snapping-and-grinning code.
Daniel HandlerIf I were to say, "Yes, I am a fascinating, erudite person," what would that say about me? I don't know.
Daniel HandlerThere's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.
Daniel Handler