The world is quiet here.

Is it fair for the bears to come down to where humans live, looking for food? Is it fair for the Duke's soldiers to shoot at them? Is it fair for the bears to crush them with giant snowballs? Often, if you point out something that isn't fair, someone will reply, "Life isn't fair." What is to be done with such people?

The way that the stories go in the Snicket books is just the way stories naturally go to me. They're full of misery, and yet the misery ends up being slightly hilarious. And in terms of the warnings on the back of the books, that really started as an honest assessment of their marketability.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Tears are curious things, for like earthquakes or puppet shows, they can occur at any time, without any warning and without any good reason.

Having a personal philosophy is like having a pet marmoset, because it may be very attractive when you acquire it, but there may be situations when it will not come in handy at all.

I don't know why wicked places generally look wicked. You'd think they'd look nice, to fool people, but they hardly ever do.