Iโm not a romantic, Iโm a half-wit. Only stupid people would think Iโm smart. Iโm not something anyone should know. Iโm a lunatic wandering around for scraps, Iโm like every single miserable moron Iโve scorned and pretended I didnโt recognize. Iโm all of them, every last ugly thing in a bad last-minute costume. Iโm not different, not at all, not different from any other speck of a thing. Iโm a blemished blemish, a ruined ruin, a stained wreck so failed I canโt see what I used to be.
Daniel HandlerA long time ago, there was no such thing as school, and children spent their days learning a trade, a phrase which here means "standing around doing tedious tasks under the instruction of a bossy adult." In time, however, people realized that the children could be allowed to sit, and the first school was invented.
Daniel HandlerI'd written my first novel for adults, which was called Basic Eight and was set in a high school, and we were having a devil of a time selling it. It ended up in the hands of an editor of a children's publishing house, for which it was entirely inappropriate. She said, "Well, we can't publish this, but I think you should write something for children," which I thought was a really terrible idea.
Daniel Handler