The trick to following someone without getting caught is to follow somebody who doesn't think they're being followed.

There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.

One cannot spend forever sitting and solving the mysteries of oone's history.

I was once almost forced off the stage at a large chain bookstore that shall remain nameless, because she introduced me as Lemony Snicket, and I immediately interrupted her and said, "Oh no, Lemony Snicket isn't here," and then she tried to cancel the event right then and there.

I go to bed early and rise late and feel as if I have hardly slept, probably because I have been reading almost the entire time.

Blank paper has always inspired me.

Shyness is a curious thing, because, like quicksand, it can strike people at any time, and also, like quicksand, it usually makes its victims look down.