I opened my mouth and kissed you then, the first time all night, attacked you and surrendered completely, and letโs get out of here. Iโm ready, Iโm finished, letโs not break up, no, no. Take me home, my boyfriend, my love.
Daniel HandlerStop saying no offense,โ I said, โwhen you say offensive things. Itโs not a free pass.
Daniel HandlerAssumptions are dangerous things to make, and like all dangerous things to make - bombs, for instance, or strawberry shortcake - if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble.
Daniel HandlerKnowing that something is wrong and doing it anyway happens very often in life, and I doubt I will ever know why.
Daniel HandlerThere's an easy method for finding someone when you hear them scream. First get a clean sheet of paper and a sharp pencil. Then sketch out nine rows of fourteen squares each. Then throw the piece of paper away and find whoever is screaming so you can help them. It is no time to fiddle with paper.
Daniel Handler