Miracles can happen, even to those who are small, flammable, and dressed all in black.

I had this idea about terrible things happening to orphans, and I knew it was such a horrible idea that the idea of writing it down and then submitting it professionally was obviously absurd.

One wanders through life as if wandering through a field in the dark of night, wearing a blindfold and very heavy shoes, with a poisonous toad waiting patiently beneath a clump of weeds, knowing full well that eventually you will step on him.

Hup hup ha ha hammy hee hee!

You’re just jealous of me because I’m a tap-dancing ballerina fairy princess veterinarian!

When I was researching my very first novel, "The Basic Eight," I was calling right-wing political and religious organizations and asking them to mail me their material so that I could mock them in my novels.

I was stupid, the official descriptive phrase for happy.