I'd always liked to write, but I never wanted to be a writer, because it seemed a sissy occupation. It is. To this day, I find it terribly easy. And so, rather than trying to hunt up a text, I just wrote one.

The activities of these parasites and degenerates gave rise to Cubism, Fauvism, Futurism, Pointillism, Constructivism, Orphism, Surrealism, Dada, and also Impossibleism, Supersurrealism, Dynamic Double-Dog Realism, Ishkabibbleism, and Mama, which is like Dada only nicer.

Today is the yesterday you won't remember tomorrow.

The old saw about old dogs and new tricks only applies to certain people.

I went to college, but I learned to write by reading - and writing.

Trust me, there is no formula for most things that are not math.

All my books were easy to write - doesn't it show?