I am a proud participant of the Spencer Tracy School of Acting: Know your lines, don't bump into the furniture.

If you ever get rich and famous, by definition you are special. You have done something special, and therefore you start to behave special. Then if the floor drops out, and you become down and out, you have a really new perspective.

Well, anything you want to make public is your public business.

There are all of these people that say, my mommy doesn't love me enough, my daddy doesn't hug me enough. There are some people that would want to coddle them somewhere. I want them to shut up and stop whining.

I say this with no fear of contradiction. Jonas Barnes is absolutely, positively the funniest stand-up comic I have ever seen. Of course, I almost never leave my home. Jonas is a great guy and was a big help to me.

If a car came through a window anywhere near me, I'd be freaking out for three days!

I was married for 18 years to a woman who wanted me to get sober for all 18 years and I never did. She finally came to her senses and divorced me.