Housewives spend more money than their husbands make, so that other people think their husbands earn more money than they really do.

A jester unemployed is nobodys fool.

When what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting whatever it is you've got left.

Some woman are more interested in what they look like than what they are. If they more interested in what they are, they would look better.

I'm just an entertainer. All I want to be is funny. I never aspired to play Hamlet.

The secret of staying fresh in a show is to remember that the audience you're playing for that night has never seen it before.

You bet I arrived overnight. Over a few hundred nights in the Catskills, in vaudeville, in clubs and on Broadway.