Who knew that all this time the nectar of the Gods was in my va-jay-jay.

Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.

Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.

Your existence gives me a headache. Go stand over there.

For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.

I love language, words, and all the lovely, exciting, and heart wrenching things you can do with them. Pick the right ones, put them in the right order, and you’ve created a moment in time where the reader forgets about the late car payment, the dirty dishes, the impending workweek. You have created a state of bliss. Or negligence, depending on your perspective.

Dude,” I said, leaning over the desk, “I’m about as psychic as a carrot.