What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.

I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.

...and then she glared at me, the same glare my stepmother used to give me when I gave her the Nazi salute. That woman was so touchy about her resemblance to Hitler.

I totally should've gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

She didn't smile back. Not even a little. I totally needed to read that book on how to win friends and influence people. But that would involve an innate desire to win friends and influence people.

Let me express how much I don't care on a scale of one to bite me," the former detective said.

SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word