This place is like crazy on crackers.

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.

I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.

This is one Fruit Loop beyond certifiable.

Cookie dropped her purse and tried to catch it midair. In the process, she knocked over a vase. When she lunged for the vase, she slipped on the tile and overturned an entire table. A lovely handblown piece of glass flew in my direction, and all I could think as I caught it was, Really? Again? We were going to have to practice muscle control.

Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It’s a terrific lesson in economy and precession.

He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through.