I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.

The funny thing about GPS was it didn’t always send you in the right direction. I knew that if I took a right and took Twelfth instead, I’d get there faster, so I turned right. Ozzy did not approve. “Wut the foock?

My real mom died when I was born—hemorrhaged to death while giving birth to me, which has never been one of my favorite memories—and Dad married Denise before I’d turned a year. Without even asking my opinion on the matter. Denise and I never really clicked.

I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT

Man, I want to be someone's forbidden fruit." "Well, you are pretty fruity.

I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.

Charley talking to Cookie ‘'You know those women in nursing homes that have to be restrained around the clock because they mix up everyones medication and steal all the bedpans?'' ‘’Yes'' I said wondering what I was walking into ''That’s going to be you!'' She was probably right, if I live that long