Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt

Jesus may love you, but i'm his favourite

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way. "It's three thirty in the morning." "Okay. Want coffee?

I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly

I climbed into Misery and called Uncle Bob. “We hooking up?” “Why does everything out of your mouth make me sound incestuous?” “Um, I wasn’t aware that it did. Perhaps you have a guilty conscience.” “Charley.” “Is there something you need to get off your chest? Besides that skank I saw you with the other day?

I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. "If you resist," I said into Reyes's ear, "I'll be forced to Taser you." He looked at what I had in my hand. "That's a phone." "I have an app. You'll probably experience nerve damage. Slight memory loss.

Oh, and she told me that men want only one thing. And on that note, I must give praise and thanks to the powers that be. I don't want much else from them either.