I'll call if I break a leg or get eaten by a bear." "Play like a rock." "Now?" "No, if a bear starts eating you." I thought for a moment before replying. "Do they have screaming, sobbing rocks, 'cause that's probably what I'll be doing if a bear is gnawing my arm off." "It would be difficult to just lay there and be eaten alive, huh?" "Ya think?

Least he's committed," I offered. "Or needs to be.

I should’ve known the day was going to turn out bad when it started with my father trying to kill me

I knew dating the son of Satan would turn out badly

I could be irksome when I put my left ventricle into it.

Ask me about my complete lack of interest. (T-shirt)

Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt