If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.

My goal in life is to have a psychiatric disorder named after me.

Hey, boss. Where are you?” she asked. “I just picked up something to eat. What about professional belly dancers?” “Um, I don’t know, maybe with horseradish.

It is sexy in here or is it just me?

―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie.

Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way. "It's three thirty in the morning." "Okay. Want coffee?

At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.