I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
Dave BarryThe old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.
Dave BarryWhen your Super Bowl guests arrive, they should find a mound of potato chips large enough to conceal a pony sitting in front of the television. For nutritional balance, you should also put out a bowl of carrot sticks. If you have no carrot sticks, you can use pinecones, or used electrical fuses, because nobody will eat them anyway. This is no time for nutritional balance: This is the Super Bowl, for God's sake.
Dave Barry