I believe it was Shakespeare, or possibly Howard Cosell, who first observed that marriage is very much like a birthday candle, in that 'the flames of passion burn brightest when the wick of intimacy is first ignited by the disposable butane lighter of physical attraction, but sooner or later the heat of familiarity causes the wax of boredom to drip all over the vanilla frosting of novelty and the shredded coconut of romance.' I could not have phrased it better myself.

If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.

If Charles Lindbergh, flying with no instruments other than a bologna sandwich, managed to cross the Atlantic and land safely on a runway completely covered with French people, why are today's airplanes, which are equipped with radar and computers and individualized liquor bottles, unable to cope with fog?

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.

The Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service.

Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.