What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.

I don't even care what Bill Bryson writes about because he will make it interesting. I love "A Walk in the Woods," about the Appalachian Trail, but his most amazing book is "A Short History of Nearly Everything."

Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.

Unlike cats dogs never scratch you when you wash them. They just become very sad and try to figure out what they did wrong.

maybe somebody finally shot the dog.

Dogsled-riding is a sport that is relaxing as well as fragrant.

For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first explain that . . .