Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes.

By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.

Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

I'm a big believer in anesthesia. I think it should be used for every medical procedure, indlucing routine physicals.

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course, is that people are a lot stupider than they used to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print.

What's happened to marriage? The wedding-industrial complex. Brides get swept up in this world of obsession - it has to be your perfect day.