I've never actually given birth to a child, but I suspect that going to a Justin Bieber concert with a child is close.
Dave BarryAt the time, we were mad at Moammar Gadhafi, which resulted in us bombing all over Libya and killing a bunch of people, but not him. Then Ronald Reagan gets up and says we're not trying to kill him, we're just dropping bombs. You can kill all the Libyans you want, but legally you can't try to kill the leader.
Dave BarryLobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2. There is no way you would ever pet it. 3. It does not respond to simple commands such as "Here, boy!"
Dave BarryIf everybody were a guy, the human race could easily get by on less than one twentieth the current number of shoes.
Dave Barry