I was reading this James Bond book, and right away I realized that, like most books, it had too many words.

You know how on the evening news they always tell you that the stock market is up in active trading, or off in moderate trading, or trading in mixed activity, or whatever. Well, who gives a

Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline.

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Washington is nicknamed "The Evergreen State" because it sounds better than "The Incessant Nagging Drizzle State."

Mousse was a Labrador retriever, which is a large enthusiastic bulletproof species of dog made entirely from synthetic materials. This is the kind of dog that, if it takes an interest in your personal regions (which of course it does) you cannot fend it off with a blowtorch.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.