We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hotlines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly.

Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Congress is thinking about eliminating a federal program under which scientists broadcast signals to Alien beings. This would be a large mistake. Alien beings have atomic blaster death cannons. You cannot cut off their federal programs as if they were merely poor people.

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that comes on the market about two days after you actually purchase some other computer.

...Hell, which as every frequent traveler knows, is in Concourse D of O'Hare Airport.