There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

I've never actually given birth to a child, but I suspect that going to a Justin Bieber concert with a child is close.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

There are two kinds of people in this world, and I am one of them.

We're trying to make our current house look domestic so that somebody will want to buy it. We're making a lot of simple, obvious improvements that never would have occurred to us to make while we actually lived here, because, tragically, we both happen to be domestically impaired. If we were birds, our nest would consist of a single twig with the eggs attached via Scotch tape.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.