On behalf of the newspaper industry I wish to announce some changes we're making to serve you better. When I say 'serve you better,'' I mean 'increase our profits.' We newspapers are very big on profits these days. We're a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.
Dave BarryI've been to Washington many times over the years for stories, and it always seems remarkably the same. More the same than the rest of the country. It's almost like they dress the same as they did 20 years ago. The same old guys are sitting outside the same dirty, dingy secret offices in the Capitol that you're not allowed to go in.
Dave BarryThe Japanese, implementing a complex, long-term, and ultimately successful strategy to dominate the U S consumer-electronics market, attacked Pearl Harbor.
Dave BarryDirectors are always changing things at the last minute. Actors will do a scene, and the director will say, โOkay, that was perfect, but this time, Bob, instead of saying โWhatโs for dinner?โ you say, โWait a minute! Benzene is actually a hydrocarbon!โ And say it with a Norwegian accent. Also, we think maybe your character should have no arms.
Dave Barry