The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of logic or science. Dennis Rodman is only one example.

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.

All these people helped make this book possible. But let me make one thing clear: If there are any errors or omissions in this book, these people are not responsible. In the end, there is only one person responsible for what I write, and that person, of course, is: Donald Trump.

I took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn't know one single phrase that was actually useful in a real-life French situation.

I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: “How can I get in on that?

I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene . . .

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.