I took an estimated two thousand years of high school French, and when I finally got to France, I discovered that I didn't know one single phrase that was actually useful in a real-life French situation.

You know how on the evening news they always tell you that the stock market is up in active trading, or off in moderate trading, or trading in mixed activity, or whatever. Well, who gives a

Seriously? You won’t help me?” “Help yourself get killed? No, I won’t.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.

Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.

When you say you don't think we should have public schools, they can't believe you mean that. You must mean that they should be smaller. But you can't really mean no public schools.