I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene . . .

The method preferred by most balding men for making themselves look silly is called the comb over.

By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.

Some [soccer] players suffer four or five fatal injuries per game. That's how tough they are.

The average tax payer is not a big voluntary supporter of the arts. The only art that the average taxpayer buys voluntarily either has a picture of Bart Simpson on it or little suction cups on its feet so you can stick it onto a car window.

Do not spit gum in the drinking fountains.

Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.