Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

There shall be a National Anthem containing incomprehensible words and a high note that normal humans cannot hit without risk of hernia.

Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information which is how I got a good job in journalism.

There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"

When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates!

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.