Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other in practice as large teeming flaw colonies, the result of being that they get on each other's nerves and regularly erupt into vicious emotional shouting matches over such issues as toaster settings.

Elsewhere in Italy is the lovely city of Venice, which each year attracts millions of visitors despite the fact that it is basically an enormous open sewer.

We don't shoot somebody soon, I'm gonna forget how

I am not a violent person. I am a product of the Flower Power '60s. I have actually worn bell-bottomed jeans.

English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything.