We don't shoot somebody soon, I'm gonna forget how

Thanks to my solid academic training, today I can write hundreds of words on virtually any topic without possessing a shred of information which is how I got a good job in journalism.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?

Unless you live in Indonesia, there should be several malls within five miles of your home. It makes no difference whatsoever which one you go to: Under federal law, all malls in the United States must have the same 42 chain stores.

The method (of learning Japanese) recommended by experts is to be born as a Japanese baby and raised by a Japanese family, in Japan. And even then it's not easy.

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.