In foreign countries such as Italy, the government puts strict-looking speed limit signs everywhere, but nobody ever sees them because light does not travel fast enough to catch the Italian drivers.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

Eventually everyone has to die, except Elvis.

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

Florida's number three industry, behind tourism and skin cancer, is voter fraud.

Land!” shouted Thomas. “Is there food?” asked Tubby Ted.

If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it's because you're TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON'T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER.