With humor you have so many options with topics and length, I mean I can write humor essays in books now and they can be as long as I want them to be.

SAT tests are designed by huge panels of experts in education and psychology who work for years to design tests in which not one single question measures any bit of knowledge that anyone might actually need in the real world. We should applaud kids for getting lower scores.

As you get older; you've probably noticed that you tend to forget things. You'll be talking with somebody at a party, and you'll know that you know this person, but no matter how hard you try, you can't remember his or her name. This can be very embarassing, especially if he or she turns out to be your spouse.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

I've never actually given birth to a child, but I suspect that going to a Justin Bieber concert with a child is close.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.