I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body.

I'm a big believer in anesthesia. I think it should be used for every medical procedure, indlucing routine physicals.

I'm not saying that women don't think about sex also. I'm saying that women are capable, for at least brief periods of time, of not thinking about sex, and that most guys are not.

If you answered, ''Spin the Bottle,'' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood.

I don't know what you can possibly do for less than $50 to have somebody come in your house.

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

The weightlifting competition I saw was the women's 63 kg class. I'm not sure whether this means the actual women weighed 63 kg or the weights they lifted weighed 63 kg. Or possibly the temperature in the weightlifting hall was 63 kg. There's no way to know for sure without finding out what a "kg" is, and my belief, as an American, is that if I have to start understanding the metric system, then the terrorists have won.