There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.

Print neatly. That's the kind of advice that the IRS considers a "dynamite" tax tip. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.

Any parent that relies on any law to help him parent is an idiot.

This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes to get a beer.

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

As the saying goes: "If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist."

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.